Emotional Abuse

Quite often when I hear someone use the words “emotional abuse” I immediately cringe. Two words that pack a powerful punch when joined together. The thing about emotional abuse is, most of the abused don’t consciously realize they’re being abused at the time it’s occurring. It often isn’t until the person is removed from the abuse, whether by their own choice or by the abuser themselves–possibly and frequently by having moved onto another “source of fuel” (we’ll discuss that more ahead), that it becomes crystal clear, over time, what was actually happening. It can be extremely subtle but powerfully painful. From stonewalling, a common technique used by some abusers to “punish” the abused for some perceived wrongdoing, to a simple “I love you baby” after each devaluing statement is made. This creates doubt and causes questions and confusion to one’s own perception. It may be that the person didn’t have time in their day to make it to the gym, or pick up flowers, or go for a run as they had unwittingly stated previously was in their plans. Perhaps the abused victim forgot to do something or had a change occur within their day. Either way, there’s now an opportunity here for the abuser to use the other person’s own feelings of disappointment in themselves for not accomplishing all they planned for that day, (primarily from previously planted seeds of doubt by the abuser) and intensify those feelings into perceived guilt or wrongdoing. The abuser knows their abused’s weaknesses. After all, most of these “weaknesses” they themselves helped manifest and create. It’s subtle, often confusing and contradictory, and over time, it begins to break the spirit of the victim of the abuse into coping mechanisms of complete denial and total blindness to what has occurred. Believe it or not, it is sometimes possible for the abuser to not be consciously aware or cognoscente of their abuse (another thing we’ll get into later) of the abused. What is at the heart of all this you may ask? Good question. We will answer that ahead…

Author: thelastchardonnay

www.deborahgalvin.com Mental health therapist, family, individual, and couples counselor, EFT relationship specialist, clinical researcher, Supreme Court certified family mediator, adjunct professor, medical/healthcare marketer, and life coach. Join me as I blog through key descriptions and components, shared professional and personal experiences, clinical diagnostic criteria, victimizations, and behavior patterns in persons with very high-functioning alcoholism, complex and covert personality disorders, and the subsequent emotional abuse of those close to them. My goal and purpose is to create awareness and share knowledge, information, education, and help provide clarity to anyone who may be feeling baffled and confused, or who may not understand what it is they’re seeing or experiencing in their life. Most importantly, my hope is for those readers to know they are not alone in their journey of discovery and the process of healing from the trauma of emotional and psychological abuse. Instagram: @galvindebbie Facebook: Deborah Galvin, MSW @deborahgalvincounseling Twitter: @galvindebbie www.deborahgalvin.com LinkedIn: Deborah Galvin, MSW

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