The Closet Eviction: Unmasking the Latent Homosexual-Covert Narcissist

In my experience, it IS common for a covert narcissist to be gay or bisexual and to always USE a woman as cover, (their MASK), to appear straight to the outside world. Covert narcs operate in complete secrecy. Manipulation and deception is their specialty.

A common theory regarding the fluid nature of a narcissist’s sexuality, involves their inability to maintain Object Constancy. Anyone who’s ever known a narc personally or intimately, understands the Truth of this statement perfectly…

It’s in a Narcissist’s very nature to change their minds about anything and everything–in a Split Second. They bore easily, need constant stimulation and have a hard time committing themselves to any one place, person or set of principles.

They prefer to keep their options open, while keeping their agendas hidden. Their need for constant admiration and pleasure-seeking thrills, drives them to experiment with anyone and anything–anytime, anywhere.

They do whatever feels good to them, without any hesitation. The rules do NOT apply to a narcissist. While some narcs may be completely homosexual, most of them view gender as trivial and inconsequential when it comes to meeting their needs for excitement and supply…

A narcissist has NO internal brakes to apply whatsoever. They don’t question themselves, or allow others to question them. They don’t respect others, value outside opinions or honor anyone else’s standards—and they NEVER concern themselves with other people’s feelings. They have NO boundaries and no capacity to recognize the validity of anybody else’s.

They’re elusive, predatory, opportunistic, shapeshifters; who live in a manufactured, fantasy world. Their world revolves exclusively around them and exists solely to Elevate their Status and Serve their endless needs…

The fact that so little is known about the true sexual nature of a narcissist, should come as no surprise… Everything they intentionally do, is meant to deceive, confuse and remain hidden in plain sight.

Very few people know what’s really going on behind a narcissist’s mask. Those that do, professional or otherwise, have a hard time establishing their “shifty” personality disorders as fact. They’re magicians and clever chameleons, capable of masterminding anything.

Any Disordered type of narcissist will fiercely guard their true nature and questionable identity from everyone they meet. The success of their charade, Depends on Total Anonymity. Self-preservation motivates them to manipulate or destroy anyone who threatens to reveal them…

All narcs lack a neurotypical conscience, as well as a fundamental Inability to connect emotionally with anyone. In fact, they actively distance and disengage from anyone who gets too close to them. Getting too personal or emotional with a narcissist, is the one thing they all Fear–the most.

Additionally, it’s classic textbook behavior for all narcs to exhibit an inability to feel remorse, regret, responsibility or EMPATHY… These are the very Dynamics that make it possible for a covert narc or otherwise, to be homosexual, pansexual or bisexual in orientation. They’re Uninhibited, Unrestricted and Wreckless by Nature. For them to use another individual, or a woman to accomplish their objective, is a given..

But the burden of having to live with such a Distorted, Disguised, Uncertain Reality; is a Mind-Shattering, earth-shaking, identity-stealing nightmare. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

It’s outrageously unfair and egregiously deceptive for any Gay or Bisexual man to marry a woman who believes they have an exclusive, committed, traditional and mutually understood relationship Together. She is there solely to exist as his Scapegoat, his object of constant Ridicule and his target for unrelenting Rejection.

Anyone who engages in such a practice, is an obvious covert narcissist. If a person believes they have a right to take whatever they want, whenever they want; without any fear of consequence or feelings of remorse for the damage being done: they meet the diagnostic criteria and the very definition of a Shameless, self-centered narcissist…

If a gay or bisexual man feels “ENTITLED,” to marry a woman for the sake of protecting their image and their appearance in society, what does that tell you?

It tells me they feel Superior, Entitled, Comfortable Living with Lies and that they care more about protecting Their Appearance, then they do about protecting the people they supposedly love, who’ve sacrificed their whole world to build a relationship with them… It’s a Criminal disregard for other people’s rights, that enables them to treat women like property…

The reality of being tricked and forced into such a punishing existence, is no less than HIJACKING someone else’s life completely… Any woman being fooled and led blindly into such a relationship; loses their ability to participate in a genuine, loving relationship.

Some even unknowingly sacrifice their ability to have children with these Pretenders. Eventually, these women lose all sense of direction and any expectations for having a normal relationship. Their lives are destroyed and their future is corrupted. Their identity and self-esteem have been irrevocably dismantled…

A gay narcissist never had any intentions of committing to a woman in the first place. They alone, knew what they were getting into and made that choice for themselves.

They also Choose to keep engaging in same-sex relationships on the side, while making their partners feel inadequate or responsible for the sudden lack of intimacy and understanding in the relationship.

It’s a cruel, oppressive and manipulative relationship from the start. It becomes ultimately shattering to any woman subjected to that kind of unmentionable abuse. The collateral damage this causes affected family members or children involved, is equally heart-wrenching.

If a gay man chooses to become involved, or to marry a heterosexual woman, that’s his choice. But it’s only fair and right to give any woman full disclosure and the same opportunity to make an Informed Choice for herself.

Gay people deserve all the same rights as any human being. But they don’t have the right to assume the rights of anyone they get involved with. The ACT of discriminately doing so, negates their partner’s FREE WILL and subjects them to being treated as less than human…

No one should be made to serve as a Sacrificial Shield. If you’re a gay man and you’re subjecting a woman to your covert lifestyle, you’re forcing her into the same kind of soul-wrenching, confounding, isolating closet you desperately seek to escape.

How is that not similar to making someone an indentured slave or kidnapping them and forcing them into a life of sex trafficking? Either way, it’s a Loveless, Calculated, Hostile Takeover of someone else’s life…

Unless you’ve been through this, or you actively engage in perpetrating this scam, you have no idea how devastating the reality is. I know some men cheat with other men, just to purposely skirt the laws of adultery they may be subject to, or that meet with their applied definition of infidelity. If that’s how you justify your actions, you’re the worst kind of narcissist and a truly, despicable human being…

-Jennifer Rose

Author: thelastchardonnay Counseling individuals, families, and couples, EFT relationship specialist, clinical researcher, Supreme Court certified family mediator, qualified parenting coordinator, adjunct professor, and medical/healthcare marketer. Join me as I blog through compilations of key descriptions, components, professional and personal accounts, articles, shared experiences, clinical criteria, victimizations, and behavior patterns in persons with high-functioning alcoholism, substance addictions, complex and covert Cluster B personality disorders, and the subsequent emotional abuse of those close to them. My goal and purpose is to create awareness, share knowledge, information, and education. I hope to provide clarity to anyone who may be feeling baffled and confused, or who may not understand what it is they’re seeing or experiencing in their life, or in the lives of someone close to them. Most importantly as a counselor, therapist and abuse survivor, my hope is for those readers to know they are not alone in their journey of discovery and the process of learning, identifying, and healing from the trauma of emotional and psychological abuse. Instagram: @galvindebbie Facebook: Deborah Galvin, MSW @deborahgalvincounseling Twitter: @galvindebbie LinkedIn: Deborah Galvin, MSW

7 thoughts on “The Closet Eviction: Unmasking the Latent Homosexual-Covert Narcissist”

  1. Just to mention , Women are also Covert Narcissist , and your posts tend to be Male centric , it would be nice to see more balance in the presentation . It applies both sides …. I like the material you wrote , it is pretty accurate , but , Women are just as bad .

    Liked by 1 person

      1. This is best article i have read in all my life. Thank you for putting the truth out there. So many..


      1. I like that article , I like that one a lot ! , the part about remaining calm when she tries to provoke , I failed so much at that ,…did not understand what I was dealing with at all….

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Most people do not know or understand the magnitude of what they’re dealing with until all the missing cards have been placed on the table. If it were common or normal, normal people would understand it better and see it sooner. Be thankful you did not understand it and learn to recognize those confusing flags sooner than later.


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